Big time climate deniers…

November 5, 2012

Ellen/Reid: Was traipsing past the frozen turkey aisle this weekend and at 99¢/lb., the food additive amped-up frozen birds seemed a pretty good deal.  I guess we are coming into that season of gluttony, of which I am only too happy to contribute.  Ellen, Reid and I will do as much of the heavy lifting in the kitchen as you will allow us. 

Reid can bring it in the kitchen. This is a couple of Thanksgivings ago in Hilton Head. He knows his way around pots and pans.

Our one demand is that Emma toddle around the kitchen and look cute-as-can-be in her little self propelled mobility thingy.  The tunes will be cranked up, and the rule is that ‘cooks are allowed to consume wine during the preparation of any and all foods during the duration of such preparation.’  That’s not my rule, but it sounds like a good one.

There is a Carolina blue sky out there this morning but Minnesota-Illinois like temperatures.  Unseasonably cold here but most likely mild by your standards.  The feeders are now stocked with sunflower seed, and the squirrels have resumed their shameless marauding of the bounty.  My pellet gun is at the ready but I seem to have lost a step when it comes to loading/aiming/using the darn thing.  All the fricking rodents need is a couple of seconds to take it on the lam and they seem to be laughing all the way to the cover of trees.  I hope they choke on a seed hull.

We’ll know the results of the elections well before this arrives.  There was a big article in the paper this morning about the tea party.  Zealotry knows no ends.  On the same page was an equally big article about a major meeting of climate scientists here in Charlotte.  They estimated that by 2100, the sea will have risen 39 inches or so, but they caution that they are erring on the low side.  The low side.  The folks here in North Carolina, particularly a consortium of developers on the coastal side, are still big time climate deniers.  I know I rag on that and your dad will never be confused with a rocket scientist, but holy smokes, the nutcases east of here are a testament to poor public education in these parts.  The environment is enough to vote ‘Blue.’  In short order, housing foundations will form new underwater reefs, and scuba divers will be able to swim out and around the 10”x10” treated lumber posts that homes once rested upon.  Mt. Everest will dip below 29,000 feet in above-sea-level elevation.  We didn’t invent idiocy here, but we are damned well perfecting it.

The porch lights were again off for Halloween.  I don’t know that there are more than 3-4 candy-eligible kids in our development, so they probably exported their bags to other neighborhoods with higher densities of children.  I would have eaten all the candy anyway had any been purchased.

For the first time, I paid property taxes by check rather than have them included in the escrow portion of my mortgage payment.  Ouch, ouch, ouch.  That is one big &(*$%# check.  Gag-ola.  But I like this ‘hood and tis’ better than paying interest.  Talk about the acid test of my budgeting powers over the next year.

Reid, I am mystified why the tepid little fleece comforter from the National Wildlife Federation has yet to arrive at your office.  There’s not much to it, probably enough to possibly keep your tootsies warm on a cold night.  But it went for a good cause.

Next Monday is an off day, and a friend at the bank has proposed golf.  I am getting to the point where I think ‘anything but golf.’  Still, it is on the calendar.  It will be another round of abject humiliation.  You should be glad you have other hobbies.

Of renovated plumbing and new kitchens…

The road back hasn’t seemed all that long, and it’s time to move onward and upward with other family business.

Namely, Ellen and her hubby Tim are about to drop a bundle on a complete overhaul of the never-before-updated kitchen in their vintage 1920s bungalow in Minnesota.   I suppose it behooves me as a former Assoc. Press housing columnist who wrote on this very topic to offer some unsolicited advice to my daughter about how to go about the project.   In the event father doesn’t know best, however, I bought up a small pile of Better Homes and Gardens kitchen magazines to supplement the March 7, letter to Ellen.  You’ve seen the mid-week letter to Reid about his new gig, but in the best tradition of young men withholding information from their parents, as of last Monday we knew nothing of his new job offer.

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My friend Bonnie was first to pull my chain about my ever-faulty memory.  She caustically pointed out that the rolly-poly tin TV robot did not blurt out “Danger, Will Smith, danger!”  The actual alarm was “Danger, Will Robinson, danger!”  And now I can’t even remember the name of the show.  For her editorial candor, Bonnie gets a sleeve of NXTs.

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February 28, 2011

Ellen/Reid: I’ll spare you any more gore about the recent bladder thing other than to say that I really feel good.  Every now and then a jolt or road pothole reminds me where the epicenter of the action is, but I really do feel 1,000% better.  More energy every day although there is some danger of becoming a verifiable couch potato.  That’s summarizes my Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.

Reid, you win $25 for the guess closest to the actual amount of my medical expenses although it’s good you don’t make your living guessing weight at the state fair.  But in a lack of foresight, my checkbook is home and I am here.  But it will be sent to you.  If $__,000 doesn’t shiver your timbers, nothing will.  Of course, I have no qualms about the surgeon end of things, but beyond his instruments of healing, what on earth can cost so much if most of the time was spent to have 5 liter bags of saline replaced?  Was this liquid gold they were pumping through me?  With those kinds of rates, they could pay for a CT scanner in a week.  If you have to wonder why we could use Obama’s idea of health care, look no further than the first of three letters from my insurance company that states coverage of my malady is denied because the insurer is unable to “…determine whether or not the services are considered medically necessary under terms of the plan.”  In another lapse in accuracy, they have me as hospitalized for 13 days rather than a Tuesday through Friday.  I’ll forward all the correspondence to the Tea Partiers for their advice and counsel.  I’m sure glad they are looking out for the common person.

Ellen, the kitchen sounds fun, and will be an incredible upgrade for your little bungalow.  Upon looking at some industry stuff, your bid is still $3,000 – $5,000 too high.  You have a couple of different approaches.  Head to Lowes or Home Depot where they have free kitchen design services (if you buy some portion of your materials from them).  Or, go to the Better Homes and Gardens web site, BHG.com, and look at their kitchen design stuff.  Go to kitchenbathdesign.com (the industry trade group) for lots of good articles.  You might be able to get a rough design of the kitchen online.  But by no means should you feel rushed, or be rushed, into this. Remodeling magazine reports a “minor” kitchen remodel of $21,000 will have a $16,500 payback, which is not bad.  In your neighborhood it could be even higher.  You should spend some time in bath showrooms just to give yourself an inkling of what’s out there and what the options are.  Most contractors will install the lowest priced products they can unless you insist on higher grade materials.  Given the state of the economy, and the slow pace of renovations, you might be in a little bit better bargaining position.  One thought about the south window.  I think Jeld-Wen makes the best window by far.  Not by a little, but by a lot.

Ask contractors to break their bids into sections; demolition, installation, materials (by brand), and if you supply some of the materials such as flooring or sink/cabinet hardware.  It could be Tim could handle – carefully – the heavy work of tearing things out.  I saved about $5,000 – about one-third or more of the overall cost – of the bath re-do by tearing the bath down to the studs.  I would also do a contract which stipulates when the contractor(s) get paid, which typically is not in advance but as work is completed.  That will help you manage your money.

So Reid, are you on pins and needles about NYC?  They’ll drag their feet as long as they can so I suspect there’s no reason to get your shorts bunched up about it.  It’ll happen when it happens.  You’ve still got a pretty good thing going, and that’s always a plus.  I’m gonna sign off for now and try to figure out how to build bookmarks and hyperlinks into a 40+ page document that the geeks around here don’t want to touch with a 10 foot pole.  As they said on a long-ago TV show: “Danger, Will Smith, danger!”  Substitute my name for Will Smith.