Freedom from letters…

Last Monday no letter was sent to Ellen and Reid.  It would have been too weird to arrive in Minnesota a day or so ahead of the arrival of the letter at Ellen’s house.  Such a suspension isn’t entirely abnormal; no letters have been mailed the weeks I’ve visited either of the kids.  Freedom from letters is okay once in a while.

That once in a while extends to today.  Nothing will be mailed.  This will be two Mondays in a row where no letter has been prepared, the longest such stretch since I’ve lived in Charlotte.  I am literally at a loss for (written) words.  But mentally I’m already headed down next week’s path; Reid is thinking about grad school and I want to make sure it’s for the right reasons, and Ellen has her own stressors.  We had a good Thanksgiving week but the three of us are talked out.  A break from the written routine never hurt anyone.

Cut the string, not the tie that binds…

The three amigos. We don't get together often, but when we do, we have fun.

The Charlotte Observer, obviously hard-up to fill space, was left with no alternative but to run my op-ed piece (
http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2010/09/01/1658443/parents-should-cut-the-string.html
) about the worthiness of letters to children as one method of connectedness.  The paper opined a few days ago that parents should snip the string quickly once their kids are in college.  My response was yes, cut the string, but not the tie that binds.

There are worse things than wanting to remain a factor in the lives of your kids.  And far less invasive means of contact.  Is it such a radical idea to want to stay in meaningful touch?

My agenda is not their agenda and isn’t intended to be.  Get on with your lives, guys, but here’s what’s going on in your old man’s life.  Here’s all you need to know in the space of whatever-number-of-words it is (650 or so).  Read it in the morning, or while sorting through the day’s mail, or while you’re idling on the El to Chicago’s Loop, or after work or before you go to bed.  It doesn’t matter when.  But know that week-in and week-out, something other than a bill or a solicitation will land in your mail box.

——————–

My mom gets something in the mail every week as well.  Here’s what should land in her mail box early next week in Grand Island.

September 3, 2010

Mom: Weather seems to be the big news around here these days.  Lots of folks are scurrying from the Outer Banks today as they try to escape the heavy winds and rain of Hurricane Earl.  He’ll brush by there sometime in the next 24 to 48 hours.  We won’t feel much of him in Charlotte.  The weather folks say we’ll get at most a light breeze.  And given the temperatures we’ve had of late, that breeze will be most welcome.

We have endured 90+ days of temperatures over 90 degrees.   90+ days.  It’s just been awful.  And the humidity just makes it feel that much worse.  At least September is here and hopefully the temperatures will moderate a little bit.  I noticed in this morning’s paper that you guys have been getting some 50 degree mornings which would feel wonderful to me.  Your first frost can’t be that far away.  As for us, the only frost we’ll feel is when we stick our hands in the refrigerator freezer.

I was a little too quick to lambast my tomato plant.  A little fertilizer and a lot of water and – bingo – there are finally actual tomatoes on the vines.  The largest is about the size of a tennis ball which is a significant upgrade for that plant.  It has grown to about six feet tall so there’s plenty of growing potential for tomatoes.  It’s been tough in this heat for fruit to set but it seems to be doing so right now.  I keep forgetting that our growing season is way, way longer than yours.  In a couple of weeks when the temps have died down a little I’ll plant some lettuce in a pot on the porch and with any luck that will supply me with lettuce into December.

Ellen is finally teaching her second grade classes.  Not much news has filtered in to me about how things are going but the assumption is that she’ll be doing a great job.  I hope to hear from her this weekend about how the first week actually went down.  She keeps sending me photos of her dog/beast Henry, and that’s a lot of fun to see.

Reid has moved into his new studio apartment in Chicago.  On the map it appears he is northwest of downtown.  It costs him a few more bucks every month but right about now the privacy won’t be such a bad thing for him.  He was tossing around the idea of taking a new job in his same company but there hasn’t been a real update from him for a few days now.  I’ll pester him when the weekend comes around.  He’s got a girlfriend but we know very little about her other than that her name is Jackie.

I’m supposed to teach a class on letter writing at the local community college but from all appearances, not many students share my enthusiasm about letters.  Only two have signed up and I’m afraid that the writing is on the wall – the class will be cancelled due to lack of participation.  We were supposed to have about 15 in the class, and unless some miracle happens in the next couple of days, another weeknight will become suddenly freed up.  Hey, keep your chin up and your attitude good.  I’ll do the same.

The last letter writer…

Evil Rat skewers kindly Goat in Pearls Before Swine.

Every morning, the last section I read in the Charlotte Observer is the comics.  I’m mostly after Zits and Dilbert although other panels catch my eye now and then. 

One such nugget popped up Thursday, August 5 in the quirky strip Pearls Before Swine (excuse the fuzzy cell phone photo). 

In short, mean-spirited Rat gave thoughtful Goat a plaque as the last letter-writer in America. 

Hey, Goat, I’m with you pal.  It’s anyone’s guess as to how many letter writers are out there but we’re obviously a pretty quiet, under-the-radar bunch. 

Not to get all gushy, but what troubles me is a widespread perception that letters are strictly for fuddy-duddies.  The inference is letters are beyond passe as even an occasional way to stay in touch or correspond particularly with kids like Ellen and Reid.  Truth is, the perception is hard to refute.  Where’s our legion of PR folks when we need them? 

Yet the realist knows there can never be an effective and orchestrated campaign to rally the faithful.   ‘Paper’ is too far gone.  Perhaps we lead by example in the hope others will keep the old ways  in reserve to be called upon when the time is right.  In the meantime I don’t mind pecking away. 

The last letter writer?  You could do a census of us on one hand, but  hey, you’d have to count Goat, too. 

——————— 

August 2, 2010

Ellen and Reid: Well, the job thing seems to alternate between idle and full steam ahead.  I’d prefer more of the latter over the former.  It’s two weeks now, and some possibilities have fallen off the job board and now the work will be in the trenches. 

There is every likelihood that the search will spread further and further outside the bank.  My preference to remain in-house probably isn’t going to pan out for a variety of reasons.  But that is the hand I’ve been dealt and so it goes.  People have been incredibly helpful and caring, and now the task is to leave none of the stones unturned that they have put in front of me.  I’m not so much concerned about age as I am just finding the right fit.  I’ve told people that at this point my drive isn’t so much to be a Chief but to be a good Indian.  There’s been a lot of quiet time for contemplation since the deal went down and it seems to me that my best work would be in the written end/content preparation side of the business.  There are a lot of different twists and turns to jobs in the bank and some of those paths I’m just not very good at. 

The job I was looking for at _______ University just wasn’t the right fit for them.  I had the lion’s share of communications skills but when it came to the foundation side and fund raising knowledge, I just couldn’t mislead them.  They would’ve seen right through that.  My hopes were very high but I’m effectively out of the running.

Ellen, Thanksgiving sounds fine.  It would be great to have ya’ll down here (catch the Southern lingo?) but let’s see how this job thing ultimately turns out.  Hopefully there will be something in the hopper by then.  Reid, I don’t have the foggiest about what you might be thinking for either of the holidays.  Whatever works for you works for me because you have two families competing for you and Ellen has the desires of three to balance.  We can just play it by ear.

Your grandmother made the trek to Grand Island this weekend.  She had a good, long drive to her new home and I hope she could see the cornfields and towns on the way out.  A trip by car was probably welcome for her.  Talked to your uncle last night and she made the trip in good order.  Her attitude seems fine.  I’ll have her contact information for you soon enough.  According to Ralph and Gayle the facility is very nice although her room is somewhat downsized from what she had in Omaha.  That really doesn’t matter in the long run.  Last night they went out for an ice cream cone and she surely appreciates just getting to break free of the chain if even for just a little while.  I have some guilt in not being there to help with the move.  If this job thing is allowed to happen, and if there is even a week before I might start whatever new job awaits me, I’ll make the trip out West to see her. 

No action on the sale of your grandparent’s house.  Some guy wanted to rent it for nine months but your uncle deep sixed that request and that is fine with me.  Hopefully the real estate market in Omaha will shake loose at some point in the near future.  It’s tough to know your grandmother will never see the house again.  They made the abrupt move and there wasn’t any time to collect themselves and look around for what they couldn’t have known to be the final time. 

This note is a tad shorter vs. the other weekly letters, in part because I’ve got to hop to it this morning while the names I need to contact are still fresh in my mind.  If anything breaks you two will be the very first to know other than the neighbors who will hear me yelling if there is good news to yell about.

Ellen and Henry…

Henry, the omnipresent back seat driver (when he's not sticking most of his frame out the window).

Ellen called last night as she and her 70 lb. bundle of joy Henry were tooling toward the dog food store to get the beast some chow.  Henry is one of those dogs that when you see him, you think to yourself ‘I’m glad I don’t have to feed that guy’.  But he’s a cutie.  A brute, but a cutie.  Ellen sent a quick pic of the furry pile of contentment as they neared the pet food depot.

She’d already scanned this week’s letter so now we had something to talk about.  We went quickly through recent events, what her hubby Tim was up to (softball and beer with the guys), holiday plans (they may visit Charlotte for T-Day), and a few other odds and ends.  In 10 minutes it was over.  It was great to hear from her.

Not that we went through the letter paragraph by paragraph (you’ll see it Monday) but there’s just enough structure that it puts things in context that she might never pick up from our random calls.  That’s satisfying in the sense that this is a sidelight of what letters can do.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t say Reid tried to call last night, too.  But his attempt came at 10:27 p.m.  At risk of further embarrassing myself more than I already do on these pages, let’s leave it that he’s going to have to call a little earlier if he wants to talk to his old man.  A lot earlier.

—————–

Today is moving day for mom from Omaha to her new digs in Grand Island.  There is no letter since I’ve yet to talk to the staff at her new home to let them know what’s about to land in their mailbox.  It’s with mixed emotions that I watch this upheaval unfold.  She should be better off in both the near term and the long run.

In lieu of the letter, my niece in Chicago, Kristin, sent me this email earlier this week.  It was so sweet.  It didn’t come on paper, but it had the same effect.

Hi Dave!

I know this note is long over-due, but I hope you’ll excuse its tardiness.  You have been in my thoughts a lot the past month and I’ve gotten updates from EB when we connect and catch up, which seems to be harder in the summer.

I was so sorry to hear about Ralph. At the same time it was settling to know he was finally at peace and everyone had been able to say their good-bye’s to him.  It brought back many memories of our childhood and spending holidays with your parents  I miss those days.  I hope your mom is settling in and you can make frequent visits to see her.

What a downer when the job loss was relayed to me shortly after and I have also been following your blog daily.  I do believe something bigger, better and more desirable will come along, but having been there it never helps to hear “everything happens for a reason” or “change can be good” or “you will find something better.”  But, with your talent (and hidden talents) I know you will be able to utilize it somewhere other than ______.  How much longer will you be there or are you already done?  Take some trips you want to take (Chicago)!

I hope my email finds you on a good day and I want to let you know how much I enjoy reading your blog.  It brings back so many memories and also gives me things to think about somedays.  So, please keep on posting when you can.

I’ve recently started a new gig at ______________ doing Investor Servicing for their _______________.  It’s been challenging and I’m not so sure this cut-throat corporate life is for me, but I need to give it a fair shot and move forward from there.  I had a month break in May between being let-go from my old position and being hired at ___________ and I can’t tell a lie, it was real nice  probably because it was nice weather and might be a different story if it was winter.  I haven’t seen Reid in a while, but I’ll get a few updates hear and there from Arik through ______!!  I am due for a trip to the Twin Cities.  I absolutely love getting there and especially to see EB and catch up.  She and Tim (and now Henry) are always refreshing.

Again, I’m so sorry for letting too much time pass before I reached out but please know I’ve been thinking about you.

Keep me posted on your contacts and thoughts for possible career opportunities.

Have a good week,

KC