Tag Archives: Parenting

The thoughts are good…


We bought some flowers for Caldwell's Sunday service. Felicia made the arrangement look pretty. It was a nice way to honor dad.

This week it will be a year since my dad passed away.  As is the case with fathers (and moms, too, most likely), you wonder why you didn’t listen to them more.  And then when you’re ready to be all ears, they’re gone.

Still, the thoughts are good.  So are the memories.

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June 22, 2011

Ellen/Reid: Felicitations.  I hope this finds both of you well.  What’s not to like about summer in those parts other than heat, mosquitoes and humidity?  Same thing down here, but here you toss in snakes and other critters.

This time next week we’ll observe one year since your grandfather’s passing.  I’ve been thinking of him quite a bit lately and it’s hard to believe (like your and Tim’s two year anniversary, Ellen) that it’s really been a year.  That whole blitz of worry and travel and arrangements last spring and summer seems like so long ago.  My PC screensaver is still the shot of him hoisting a frosty MGD just a couple of weeks before he died.  Even the few sips of a cold one he managed to get down brought some joy to him.  I’ll probably replace the screensaver sometime soon with a shot of your grandmother but will keep that photo of him handy for those moments when I wish he was still here which is more often than you think.  I replay the final day and hours not as often today as I did those months ago and it occurs to me now that he passed with some solace knowing that his family was pretty much in order, his wife was being cared for, his own kids had grown and were relatively responsible, and he had four grandkids that have more than exceeded his expectations.  There wasn’t any unfinished business on that score and given the amount he talked about you guys and Andy and Joe those last few days he could for the most part just let things go.  At the time the hospice lady kept telling us to remind him of those very things as a way for him to ease his own passing.  How they know that he could hear and process what we told him is beyond my meager comprehension.  But that was good enough for me at the time and was probably as it should be for him.  Next time I’m in the Midwest I plan to stop by to pay the old boy a visit.

Nothing new out West.  Ellen, grandma certainly appreciated your call.  She sounds pretty good, all things considered.

And thanks, too, for your Father’s Day calls.  Those were nice to get.  Route to me a few more photos now and again so I can see visually what’s going on in your worlds.  I giggle every time a shot comes through of Henry.  If there is a more contented dog who knows his place in the scheme of things, I don’t know where that dog would be.

In a month we’ll be in Wyoming.  Really starting to get gizzed about it.  Ellen, please don’t fret over your plans to join us.  No biggie at all.  Your summer is full enough with a kitchen and just rejuvenating from the school year.  People are nervous about the nighttime temperatures up high but it will be what it will be.  Hope for the best and plan for the worst.  I’ve been climbing aboard the elliptical machine for 20 minutes or more and every day brings a little more improvement.  Just have to keep at it.  I’m not so lucky when it comes to those arm exercises where you push yourself away from the table.  That’s not working out so well.

Well listen, I’ve got to run, literally and figuratively.  Again, keep those calls and photos coming, and maybe, hopefully, we’ll all get together under fun circumstances sometime soon.

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Letters at a natural end…


For weeks I’ve gone about a Friday routine of writing a letter to my mother (even though you’ve seen none of the pages).  On every envelope is scrawled the notation ‘Please open and read to Barbara.’   Now, I find that few, if any, of the more recent letters have been opened.

That is because her condition has worsened; she is weak and cannot eat on her own.  She’s been moved to another facility better able to care for her more immediate health situation.  My brother and I are hopeful she can regain her strength and return to the location she has come to view as her home.

It looks as if years of writing to my parents has reached a natural end.  It is disheartening for me to know that as far as letters to my parents are concerned, there really will be no more.  It was my lifeline to them in a way they could grasp.  It brought me some comfort that at least I was doing my best to stay in touch.  Many posts ago, I alluded to the fact the ink-on-paper was how many people in their age group got their news whether it was world, state  and local events as well as social doings.  Electronic methods and gadgetry so in vogue were of little use to mom and dad.  They were information aliens in cyberspace, especially my mother.

So now I have no way to communicate with mom.  She has no phone in her room, and if she did her eyesight is such she could not locate it.  She cannot read.  The best my brother and I can do is hold his cell phone up to her ear while I talk and she listens.   But it’s hard for her to comprehend and process what she’s hearing.  It’s not feasible, either, to travel to see mom as often as a good son should do.  The 1,238 miles between us has a way of interrupting the personal touch she needs.  Tomorrow, Friday, there will be no letter.

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