Friends without Facebook

As it would work out, I sent a letter to my friend Norm – he, the ultimate arbiter of words – and how does he respond?

By email.

At least he has the sensibility to put Friends without Facebook in his subject line.  I don’t perceive Norm as much of a Facebook or social media guy.  All his working life he was a journalist or a behind-the-scenes journalist, so you’d think e-things would be anathema to him.

Norm’s name probably doesn’t ring a bell for you.  But his work influences what you read in print and online every day.  He was, for a long, long time, the man behind the Associated Press Stylebook.  The Stylebook is the bible of the sport for newspapers, magazines, and virtually any other entity that puts words in front of you in any form.  If or how a word entered official use by journalists, bloggers and writers – Quran vs Koran (“Quran: The preferred spelling for the Muslim holy book”), e-commerce, nano, JPEG, etc. – that was Norm’s decision.

And he was my editor when I wrote my national housing columns for the Associated Press.  He gave me not only a chance, but he let me follow stories on my own.  He rarely, if ever, interfered let alone second guessed me.  He had confidence and trusted me and that meant everything to my writing career and style.

I am glad to call Norm my friend.

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December 9, 2011

Norm: My New Year resolution to stay in touch with you has come a few days early but I suppose the new Post Office dictum to take first class snail-mail to new levels of slowness means this could still arrive after January 1.  Hopefully not.

Actually, there’s not a hell of a lot new down here in North Carolina besides our even farther right than usual right-wing politics. But it is in the 50s here today so at least the weather validates my move.  Nearing six years as a Southerner, so the next time I visit NYC (which is overdue) let me know if I’ve acquired any of the local intonation.

I think you’re onto something with the retirement thing.  The idea of non-work is beginning to dawn on me and I’m thinking of pulling the plug on work in the next year.  Age 63, or at least the 40-some years before it, seem about the right number of years in the salt mines.  I don’t know how you’ve kept yourself busy but I wouldn’t mind finding out how that works.

My daughter is expecting so any advice you have on the grandpa thing would be more than welcome.  Ellen is in St. Paul, MN and likes it very much, although the single digit temps they’ve had the last couple of days may temper her enthusiasm.

Not doing a hell of a lot with my free time except walking and growing older.  I keep threatening to write a book but the inspiration continues to escape me.  That’s probably just as well for the reading public.  There are enough bad books out there.

So what are you up to?  Still freelancing?  I’d love to hear what you’ve been doing.  And Jeanette?  I don’t keep up with the AP much these days.  I see their ‘contact us’ web page still has e-mail with a hyphen even though they issued some decree earlier this year that email would henceforth be one word.  That’s why they still need you in the shop to at least run the Stylebook.  My son Reid still has your signed copy.

Still living alone although I have a steady girlfriend who has quickly moved up to significant-other status.  There is still the very real threat that we could visit New York and you’d have a chance to meet her and give her the third degree: “Felicia, why are you with this guy…?”

Hopefully, you’ll find out sooner than later.  Really, let me know how and what you’re doing.  I don’t need to know the why.  I hope things are well…

Christmas past…

Reid and his big sister Ellen back in the day. This is from a 2011 calendar that shows them down through the years. Still the best gift I've ever received.

Please believe me, but I have tried to be creative when it comes to Christmas gifts.  I really have.  Every time I get the itch it goes away just as quickly.  Maybe I am just not cut out for shopping.  The adage that generations of guys have repeated to themselves over and over, ‘women shop and men buy’,  is sort of my guiding light, mantra and rule of engagement all rolled into one.

All of which does take me to the mental spot where I do give things a long second thought, and that would be the days of Christmas past.  Right about now I think a lot about the days when Ellen and Reid were peanuts.   Contrary to the letter below, neither of them were jaded about the season of giving nor did they bother to make detailed lists.   Whatever they got, they liked.  I wish one or both of them would be here this season but with their lifestyles, its just not in the cards right now.   To have at least Reid here next year is item #1 on my early wish list for ’12.

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December 5, 2011

Ellen/Reid: I have been on snooze-control when it comes to shopping.  But you guys haven’t been of enormous help after I have pled on end for you to tell me what you want.  Yoga classes and a jacket?  That’s the best you can do?  When you were tots you were much more detailed about the stuff you wanted.  A Cabbage Patch doll (Paddy Patch, as you said, Ellen) and Sega, a GI Joe (or, as you said, Reid, ‘Gee-Jii Joe’) and whatever that ultra-spiffy doll was, Ellen (American Girl?).  Those I remember distinctly.  You guys never got up really early, in fact, if memory serves me correctly (which it may not) we had to roust you two out of bed to get things moving more often than not.  But once you were downstairs, it was shred-central.  So much for opening presents in a slow, even-handed manner.  Holy smokes, you were both destroyers of wrapping paper and boxes.  Don’t get me started on what went down every time we went to see Santa; Ellen, you forced your bro’ to break the ice with the old coot instead of playing the proper older sister and leading the way.

Scrawny, fake and short with cheap ornaments, what passes for the 2011 Christmas tree sits in the corner.

My tree hardly made it out of the box this weekend.  It is upright, naked of any trimmings.  The lights and stuff are sitting on the kitchen table.  Maybe I’ll get around to it tonight.  Felicia golfed with me one of the two weekend days and I tried to do a little shopping (see paragraph one) but couldn’t think of anything for either of you.  I just can’t shop.  I want to buy, and until the idea strikes me of what it is you might like, it serves no good purpose just to look.

Reid, yeah, you should bank on coming down for next Christmas.  With any luck we can head over toward the ocean for some R&R and maybe a little fishing.  We’ll take our sticks with us just in case the weather is uber-favorable.  EP, I wouldn’t think you and Tim will be in any situation to travel easily and besides, that’s the best Christmas of all when you want to be home and cozy.  That’s as it should be.  Maybe I can find a way up there for Thanksgiving again.  That was so much fun.

The Post Office has nearly gone bust and it announced a couple of days ago that they may slow first class mail, which means who knows when these letters might arrive.  I’ll keep putting first class stamps on the envelopes and getting second class service.  I’m thinking of upgrading to my own URL.  That could make things simpler.  Reid, you’re a whiz at this stuff.  Do you think it’s worth $100 a year for the privilege?

I saw where the Tea Party is losing some strength, and it’s high time.  They were just too negative and attack-dog like.  Just shows how fickle the populace is when we are communally wish-washy.  We can’t hold a position for more than 10 minutes.  There have to some middle-of-the-road politicians left who aren’t always beholden to special interests.  Maybe I’m in la-la land about that.  Maybe that would be my Christmas wish; for people to be civil again and look for the common good.  The employment news all across the Carolinas just continues to be depressing.  The people are beaten down.  There are a few signs of things picking up, but way too few.  It’s just taking a hell of a lot longer to overcome eight years of abject neglect and politicking.  I was watching some news show were a talking head blamed the current prez for the bailout when in fact it began when the prior administration sent out the big bailout checks.

But enough of that.  Time is a wastin’ so let me know what it is you want aside from Yoga and a jacket.  I can still get things there fast enough, but in a true chicken and the egg scenario, you must first tell me what you want.  Capiche?