My plan was to bore you to tears today with yet more blather about the exalted wonderment of letters.
That was until 9:10 p.m. EST last night. That’s when Ellen texted me this message: “No letter today?”
For the few of you who follow my meanderings, you know this is music to my ears. This is the first time, after years and years of stuffing every single page in an envelope and faithfully depositing each one in a post box, she has openly asked the whereabouts of the weekly letter.
It doesn’t take a hell of a lot to please me in most facets of life. But in this instance I am beyond pleased. You can’t believe how her three little words erased accumulated stress and worry about my daily lot in life. In an instant, she validated all that I’ve been trying to do, and that is to keep her (and her bro) up to speed and to tell them in no uncertain terms that they are important to me and that I love them.
But there was more icing on the cake. At 9:12, she sent this hurried message: “oh wait I just found it in a mag! haha”
Her lack of capitalization and punctuation aside, this was all the dessert this dad will ever need. Now, if I could just hear from her brother. Don’t get me started.
Here is today’s letter to my parents. If you recognize a recurring theme, it is a sign of how my mind works – or doesn’t work.
April 16, 2010
Mom and Dad: Most mornings these days I’m able to open the kitchen window a bit to hear the birds sing in the wooded area out back. Unfortunately, other than the cardinal’s familiar little tune, I’m not able to discern who says what bird-wise. No matter, it makes reading the paper that much more enjoyable.
There was a story this week about a Southern ditz, or a couple of Southern ditzes, who got into some fracas just over the border from Charlotte in South Carolina. Seems one of the good old boys, a guy named Smith, went and smacked the other guy upside the head – with a 4 foot python. The dolt was arrested and charged with assault. He said, and I quote, “The snake ain’t no harm to nobody,” Smith said. “I mean I’ve had him laying here on the bed beside of me like he’s a dog watching TV with me.” And this is what we have to live with down here. The arresting officers had to think “And this is what I went to police academy for?”
Got a middling report from the skin doctor this week. He knows better than to tell me to stay out of the sun but at least he counseled me on the latest advances in sunscreens and the like. He wants to see me every four months which is, I suppose, a sign of his concern for my fair skinned nature. He froze a couple of things off, and man, that guys knows his way around a bottle of liquid nitrogen or whatever it is. He’s not afraid of torching skin, that’s for sure.
Ellen texted me last night that Tim is in the final stages of vying for a new job at 3M. He was there once and I hope they have the good sense to bring him back. I’m not privy to the diatribe he had at his current place of work, but he’s a bright, good guy. Once you get a bad or overly demanding manager, it’s kind of tough to get back over the hump. In a couple of weeks they will convene on your house and you can ask them all about it.
Sorry I cannot get to the Midwest next week. As much as I had looked forward to it for the past few months, it’s just best that I stay here for the time being. I will get up there soon enough. Please bring me up to speed on Mary Jo’s funeral. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the cousins.
Ate the first salad of front porch greens last night, and I will admit it didn’t taste much different from what is purchased at the store. Just fresher is all. The leaves have been crunched a couple of times in the last week by the newspaper delivery person so it’s probably time to move the pot a few feet one way or the other. The tomato continues to grow against all odds. Dad, I’ve taken your advice about Miracle Gro to heart and will ease up on the fertilizing. Not that I will take the ripened fruits to the State Fair or anything like that. I’ll try to not count the chickens before they hatch.