Room 105…


Wednesday, May 19

My father did not read this week’s letter to my mother.  I did.

I flew to Omaha to help my parents cope with unfortunate but not unexpected health-related circumstances.   They can no longer live in their home of nearly 40 years.  Steps to and from a second floor, non-senior friendly bathrooms, and a kitchen ill-equipped for older users are untenable for them.  Rapidly failing health mandates that a change be made, and my brother and I are here to see that change through, however much our parents stubbornly protest.  It is just the way things are.  Now, it’s on to assisted living in what will surely be a final chapter.  Their new mailing address is room 105.  This is nothing that every other family has not wrestled with.  It just happens to be our turn.

Early Thursday morning I head for home and work.  My brother and I will have already had the sorrowful duty to fill boxes with the momentos and belongings that might bring some familiarity to my parents new two room ‘suite’.  Already I have in mind what the Friday letter might say and will likely write it on the flight home.  I rarely stew and fret over what to say and how to say it.  This looks to be one of those times.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “Room 105…

  1. Thinking about you, your brother and folks.

  2. Tom Andersen

    Dave, I have been following you and your parents through your blog and and through my parents. This week, your Uncle Henry told me about the latest setback for your Dad and the move. I am so sorry, but the belated move is for the best. Your parents have always been my favorite Aunt and Uncle and I have very much appreciated my adult relationship with the two of them. I last saw them at my Mom’s 80th birthday a few years ago.

    Jessica and my thoughts and prayers are with them, young Ralph, and you as you all move through this final adventure with your parents.

    All the best, your cousin Tom.

    • Hey, Tom: Good to hear from you, and thanks for the thoughts. Barb and Ralph talked to your folks the other day and it was really a boost for them. I’ll keep you posted and up to speed. Best-
      Dave

  3. Fergie

    David… I certainly know what you are going through, and I know that someday in the not so distant future, Jimmy will be the one to make it happen with me. We had the unpleasant task of moving my mother, but she was in such bad health she did not live long after that. The important thing is all of the memories we have and always will have of our lives and the other people in them. Big hugs to you.

    Donald.

    • Ferg: Thanks. Your mother was in McCook, is that right? Tough, yes, but we’ll get through it like you and everyone else has, too. Thanks for the thought. I’ll be in touch.
      Dave

  4. Pammy

    David, I am so sorry to read this. I have been down this road. I have gathered belongings and put them in boxes. Labeled them; shared them with other family members; given them away. It’s all just part of life. Savor every moment. Even these. Love you, Pammy

    • Pam: It’s kind of weird in that it doesn’t seem to be happening at real speed. I am not distraught but somehow calm and I can’t figure out why. I recall these days for your dad and then your mom. I will be in touch sooner than later. My best to Greg, Di, and Jim.

  5. ann alford

    Thinking of you and your family, Dave. You are correct, we live longer and so do our parents but it is always bittersweet. No one is prepared to become the parents of their own parents. Such is life in today’s world. Peace, my friend.

  6. Nancy Sutton Janousek

    Dave, I am so sorry to hear you and your brother are faced with dealing with this stage of our lives. My family started this process a few years ago because of my dad’s alzheimers disease and it has finally come to the inevitable conclusion. It is so hard, and takes such a tole on everyone involved. My heart and prayers go out to you and your whole family. Just keep remembering the good times, sometimes it makes it a little easier.

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