The inevitable did come to pass Friday night. Mom passed away peacefully in Wood River, Nebr. There are a lot of conflicting emotions which range from thankfulness that Barbara had minimal, if any, suffering to a personal guilt that mixes grief with my own selfish relief that the process is finished, too.
I’m in Omaha this morning. My brother and I have wrapped up most of the details about the service. Family begins to arrive about noon (Reid has already notified me that traffic to O’Hare in Chicago is awful and that he may miss his flight, but I’ve assured him that whenever he gets here is fine. No biggie.) My ‘bro and me need to be at the funeral home about 3:00 to make sure everything is in order. The visitation is this evening and the internment and funeral are Friday morning.
I’m supposed to speak for the family, but already have deep misgivings about what will be said and how. There’s too much effort spent on wordsmithing rather than just letting it flow. It is both frustrating and maddening. It doesn’t need to be perfect, just heartfelt. At this point I’m pretty much addled and in a daze so it will be what it will be.
I’ve heard from lots of friends by e-mail and some by phone, and for that I am appreciative. As you know, too, much of this has a surreal quality about it. We’ll get by this and keep moving forward. That’s what the survivors do, I guess.