Allow me to weigh in at length on the penis-envy process …


Politics have never been my forte. Most things, in reality, are not my forte.

Still, to knowledgeably converse about politics you have to think about such things. And I don’t. The kids know where their old man is coming from as a centrist Democrat in a crimson red state. Show me a smidgen of common sense and that’s plenty. I’m good to go.

Yet as most comedians have found to their glee, there’s such a gluttonous surplus of unending fodder in the ‘debate’ run up to this year’s election (question: why does it take years, rather than a few months, to decide things? Enough already) that this penis-envy horror show makes it inordinately hard to ignore the obvious. The candidates are anti-candidates.

So it’s closer to home for me to yammer on about the wonders of retirement and a TV-less house and hiking pants as gifts and the inconvenience of 24 hour power outages. Hopefully Ellen and Reid appreciate being spared more blather than they already get on our great national conundrum.


February 29, 2016

Ellen/Reid: The thought occurred the other day, again, as to what is in store for my retirement. So far it hasn’t amounted to a helluva lot other than trying to think where the time goes. I wake up and then  – poof – it’s time to go to sleep. What happened to the day? What is known is that too much time is spent on the %$(*&^ computer. That has to stop. It’s the rough equivalent of mindless TV (Ellen, you were prescient: I haven’t missed it for even a single moment). I do find myself reading more which is a good thing. Maybe it’s time to think in earnest about part time work. Something to keep me occupied (pre-occupied?) but in the best of all worlds it should have some creative tinge to it. I hope to keeping teaching as it is great fun.

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I’d like to teach writing more if the chance arises. It would help to fill the nothing-to-really-do retirement void.

It’s very true that to teach is to learn twice. No big surprise there but it is so fun and rewarding. (We’ll see if my students share that sentiment in their post-class evaluations.)

Already this election thing has put a severe beat down on me. An Assoc. Press friend in Australia told me that Aussies, like the rest of the Western world, used to hold America in high esteem as the unquestioned leader in policy and economics and statesmanship but now we’ve been reduced to laughingstock status. Republicans like Presidents Lincoln, Eisenhower – even Nixon – have to be spinning in their graves at the current crop of GOP lunatics who simply show zero tact/statesmanship and clearly aren’t qualified to find a middle ground at any level, let alone lead a troop of Boy Scouts. Even Hillary has my head spinning a bit. What is most objectionable is this penchant about ‘values.’ The GOP notion of religious values is to shove their religious values down my already gagging throat. For all intents and purposes, and without declaring so, they declare that their religion is better than my religion.

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There are more potentially viable presidential candidates in my Golf for One group than the weak crop of wannabes running for office.

It makes me sick. I’m sorry, but values don’t put a chicken in every pot or make sure every kid gets a quality education or keeps people healthy enough to work. If Trump is elected, consideration will be given to follow Rush to Costa Rica. Oh, wait, Limbaugh reneged on that promise if Obama was elected. He’s (sic: Rush) a jerk, too.

The lettuce will be started this week in the pots out back. About half romaine, half arugula. The tomatoes are still a month away, at least.

Those Arcteryx hiking pants are just the best. Couldn’t resist buying a second pair. Honestly, Ellen, give me the dimensions for you and Tim and let me buy you each a pair. Same with Liz and you, Reid. REI didn’t have them on the floor so that’s why an online search was made and some sweet deals found.

The 24 hour power outage didn’t cause much havoc other than an inconvenience. Since the freezer/refrigerator doors were never opened once the juice went out, everything stayed cold. What the blackout told me was to buy more candles and D size flashlight batteries. It was the first time in 10 years that the power had really gone out. We’d had a flicker here and there, but no real outages. My friend and neighbor Dan and I cut through the woods to head up to Wolfgang Puck’s for pizza and a beer. We looked like a couple of doofuses among the well-heeled crowd. Someone has to be the ruffians. The next morning I manually lifted the garage door to head up to Starbucks for coffee. There were several of my unshaven/unkempt/unshowered neighbors up there for the same purpose as me and we had a good laugh about it as we checked the status of power resumption on our recharging iPhones.

Okay, later, guys. Be good and send me those pant sizes stat.

Love, Dad

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